We are quick to encourage ourselves to stay away from toxic people, but what happens and what do we do when we are toxic to ourselves. We talk about how toxic people can affect our mental health and truncate our growth with their negative energies. The truth is we can become toxic to ourselves. As much we strive to identify toxic people in our lives daily, we also need to understand when we become harmful to ourselves and those around us.

Toxicity is relative by all means. Who appears toxic to you may not be another person. People can be harmful to us without us knowing, and we can become toxic to ourselves without knowing it either. We must understand how people affect us early in life, how their presence impacts us daily, and how their actions influence our decisions.

Here are five ways we can become toxic to ourselves-

. Giving In To Negative Pressures

Negative energy is all around us. It is easy to lose our way in a dysfunctional world like ours. And walk into things that we ought to be walking away from. If you always find yourself talking people into doing bad things and going against God’s standards for their lives or their morals, it is a clear sign that you are becoming toxic to yourself and those around you.

Quit doing things out of pressure. If you are not comfortable with something, be bold enough to speak out. You won’t be hurting anyone more than yourself if you fail to stand up for what you believe in. Quit hanging around people who force you to go against your standards, morals, values, and God’s standard. 

Life is about many things, and you always have a choice.

. Having An Attitude Of Ingratitude

The moment you realize you lack an attitude of gratitude, you are becoming toxic to yourself. It is perfectly normal to desire the good things of life, but it should not replace your sense of gratitude. Do not make it a habit of returning people’s good deeds with disdain and less appreciation. What they gave you may not be what you were expecting, yet, failing to be grateful is not a better choice. Or perhaps you feel you deserve better. A little appreciation goes a long way. Quit using people’s good deeds to blackmail them or speak badly about them.

 Life is irregular, but that is not enough reason for you to be ungrateful to God or to people who have shown you kindness. God remains faithful even when we are unfaithful.

Our parents may not have the world to offer us, but they give us the best of what they have. For that, they deserve our gratitude. When we refuse to extend kindness or show appreciation to those that deserve it, we become toxic to ourselves and everyone around us. Our ingratitude can lead others to be less giving and uncaring. As much as we need to get rid of toxic people, we need to ensure we do not become harmful to others through our attitude of ingratitude.

. Becoming An Emotional Bully

We are all guilty of this.

We play the victim to our loved ones, especially when we want them to do our bidding. Understand that bullying people emotionally would cause people to stay away from you. When you abuse people emotionally, you affect their mental and psychological health. Quit talking down on people because you feel you have the power to do so. Speak kind words to people and allow them to express their views. Words are powerful. Choose yours carefully. Speak, but do not yell.

People would avoid you if your words plaques and break them. As your words can break others, they can also mar you. Do not talk down on yourself or play down your emotions. For, every time you do that, you emotionally abuse yourself.

Make it a point of duty to quit saying words that would break people and make them vulnerable.

 ”If you have bouts of jealousy, envy, ingratitude, or resentment towards someone, you are becoming toxic to yourself.”

. Becoming A Gossip

Do not play to your weakness and become a gossip. If the information that someone is bringing to you is not valid, reject it by walking away.

 Rumors spread like wildfire, and the rumor mongers are toxic people. People do not always have the time to verify the information they receive before they react. And the damages are not easy to correct. If you persistently feel the need to spread false rumors about people to get back at them, you are toxic to yourself.

If you feel your security is under threat, sit down and restrategize but do not allow your insecurities to damage your self-esteem and turn you into a bitter person. No one needs a bitter person around them, and you do not need to become a bitter person.

Keep every form of gossip away from your life. Confront people if you feel cornered, but do not speak behind their back. It turns you into a toxic person, hateful and spiteful.

. Becoming Envious

Envy is dangerous. It teaches you how to push faults to other people. Envy blinds your sense of reasoning and makes you a pro in playing the blame game. Everyone has got their own time to shine. But, when you get envious of others, you fail to understand the different seasons and times of life. Resentful people are desperate people. They are never happy for the people who win before them. There is enough space in the sky for every bird. Do not give in to envy. It will only drag you down and everyone else.

”If you have bouts of envy, jealousy, or resentment to someone, you are becoming toxic to yourself.” You can ask the Holy Spirit to clean you from the inside out.

When people do not want to be around you because they find you toxic, things may get tough for you. If you have any of these traits, it is time to recognize that you are dangerous to yourself and everyone around you. Make a decision today to let the Holy Spirit in and help you become the person he needs you to be.

Self-Toxicity is real.

Have you become toxic to yourself? Do you need a life coach to speak to? 

You can share your thoughts with me.

In life, you can not be mentally stable and healthy if you are toxic to yourself.

Whitney Edna Ibe is the Executive Consultant, Life & Mental Health Coach, and Writer/ Editor at Whitney Edna Ibe Consult (Blog), Flyhiee.com, The Social Talks, Penprofile.com, and Mental Wellness Society International. She is in charge of consultations, services, and implementation.

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