How and why do believers, who sincerely want to live holy lives still end up trapped in a cycle of sin and living a defeated life?
I was reading a paper this morning and came across a story of a young boy who became born again sometime last year, was fervent in the things of the Lord, commited suicide yesterday night. Reason? He committed fornication, which he was sorry about and because of his love for the Lord went to confide in his pastor to pray and counsel him. The pastor in turn took powers into his own hands, became God all of a sudden and decided to play God by judging this young boy. He told the boy he has sinned and can not be allowed to be a member of the choir. He told him he wasn’t just fit to be a born again. Told him he was a weak Christian and gullible. He dismissed the young boy like he was a nobody. The young boy became depressed, sad, felt left out and saw the only way out to end his misery was to commit suicide. He lost the courage to even pray. I would not know to what extent he felt defeated or if he had any other demons he was dealing with.

How on earth did we believers get to this point? How can we be in Christ and still be trapped? Continue to live a defeated life? I believe that it is because they receive condemnation for their failings, and do not know or believe that God himself does not condemn them because of the cross of Jesus. Show me someone who lives under constant condemnation and i will show you someone who is always struggling with sin.  You see, the more believers live in condemnation the more they actually become entrenched in a vicious cycle of sin, condemnation, and defeat.

Let me portray what i mean with a simple illustration. Let’s say a believer is surfing the internet and by chance stumbles upon pornographic images and looks at them longer than he should. Before he knows it, lustful thoughts tumble across his mind. At the same time, since he is a born again Christian, he starts to feel guilty and condemned. He tells himself, “I shouldn’t have looked at the images. I shouldn’t be having all these unholy thoughts. Oh, I’m such a lousy Christian. God must be so disappointed with me.”
The more he heaps guilt and condemnation on himself, the more he reasons, ” What’s the point of resisting? I’m a terrible Christian and since I’m already guilty and fellowship with God is broken, I might as well go all the way.” What does he do? He clicks on one of the image links, which takes him to a pornographic website, and he indulges his fleshy desires. Now he feels all the more guilty and condemned, and even more convinced that God is angry with him and has distanced himself from him. 
All this guilt and alienation from God just make him susceptible to fail the next time he faces a similar temptation. There is no power to overcome subsequent temptations, and his indulgences quickly develop into an addiction that imprisons him in perpetual guilt and self condemnation. 

He knows he has a problem, but is just too ashamed of his secret sin to approach anyone for help. 
This is basically how many sincere believers end up trapped in a cycle of sin and condemnation. 
Can you see how the cycle of defeat is perpetuated? Feelings of guilt and condemnation do not empower a believer or anyone, no matter how sincere he is, to overcome his sin. Infact, they leave him more weak and vulnerable to the next prey or temptation. The truth is those under constant guilt and condemnation have no strength to overcome temptation, and ends up repeating their sins and living a painful life trapped in a cycle of defeat.
#Happy Easter, May the joy of Easter bring peace and happiness to you and your household, Amen. He’s risen!!!

Whitney Edna Ibe is the Executive Consultant, Life & Mental Health Coach, and Writer/ Editor at Whitney Edna Ibe Consult (Blog),, The Social Talks,, and Mental Wellness Society International. She is in charge of consultations, services, and implementation.

23 Thoughts on “The Defeated Life…#The Cycle Of Sin!”

    • Sometimes the answers are not easy to come by. Oftentimes, we never know how far we’ve​ gone untill we have started the journey. Thank you for your kind response. I appreciate it.

  • This is a wonder message, to think I wanted to scroll past it because I was looking for something else. But I felt the strong urge to click and read. This is really really the part most Christians don’t wanna talk about. Why? Because it still ends up in being judged instead of helping you rise again. Thank You Whitney. And RIP to the dead. I hope he makes heaven.

    • I pray so too. It’s really saddening. Most Christians gets judged before they get to know them. We need to stop judging people and start praying for them. Thank you dear for stopping by and sharing with us. God bless you and Happy Easter to you and yours.

    • Amen. This is highly appreciated. God bless you and yours too this Easter season. I am smiling already and i want you to do same. Thank you for your kind response. It’s very thoughtful of you.

  • am distressed how the pastor treated that young man. It’s been said that giving a person in shame more shame, is like giving salt water to a man dying of thirst – deadly. Jesus is so compassionate, so kind that his love, unless it is resisted, will lead us to the cross in repentance. Here’s one my favourite quotes:
    “The divine Teacher bears with the erring through all their perversity. His love does not grow cold; His efforts to win them do not cease. With outstretched arms He waits to welcome again and again the erring, the rebellious, and even the apostate. His heart is touched with the helplessness of the little child subject to rough usage. The cry of human suffering never reaches His ear in vain. Though all are precious in His sight, the rough, sullen, stubborn dispositions draw most heavily upon His sympathy and love; for He traces from cause to effect. The one who is most easily tempted, and is most inclined to err, is the special object of His solicitude. – {Ed 294.2}”

  • Thank you for sharing with us. I love the quote you sent. I just feel we should love more and judge less. We need to be our brother’s keeper. It’s so thoughtful of you to share with us.

  • What is not being taught today Whitney is what to do about our Sin which would have helped this young man with his burden of guilt. The Scriptures confirm we are to put our Carnal flesh to death that causes us to Sin and that also causes us to be Addicted to all types of Sin (Romans 8 :12-15- Romans 6 -Colossians 3:4-6 -Galatians 5:24 -26) as we Aim to be Perfected in Love, (Matthew 5:48 – Hebrews 6:1-Philippians 3:14-16 -2Timothy 3:17-1John 4:16-19- 1John 2:4-6- 2Corinthians 13:11) We do not just excuse our Sin or look the other way when others Sin, it is not Love to let Satan get a foothold in someones life.
    God knows us as His own even before we are conceived and not one of us will be lost but we do have to work out our Salvation but not meaning work for it, we show we have it as we aim to be Perfected in Love, if this is not True than the Scriptures below are in error and so are others in the Bible.
    But if we Sin before we are Perfected in Love and confess it turning from evil and seeking to do good, Jesus is our Advocate and we will be forgiven but if we continue to Sin we are still in darkness, this is what God tells us even though Man would prefer to think we go on Sinning until we die and it’s OK because we are under Grace but we don’t Sin when we are Born again and have the Mind of Christ because Jesus does not choose to Sin.
    1 John 3:1-11 (9) No one who is born of God will continue to Sin because God’s seed remains in him he cannot go on Sinning because he has been Born of God.
    John 8:34-36 Jesus replied, “I tell you the truth, everyone who Sins is a Slave to Sin. Now a slave has no permanent place in the family but a son belongs to it forever. So if the Son sets you free you will be free indeed.
    Romans 6:6- 7 For we know that our old self was crucified with Him so that the body of Sin might be done away with that we should no longer be Slaves to Sin because anyone who has died has been freed from Sin.
    Romans 6:22-23 But now being made free from Sin, and become Servants to God ye have your fruit unto Holiness and the end everlasting life. For the wages of Sin is death but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.
    1 Peter 2:24 Who His own self bare our Sins in His own body on the tree, that we being dead to Sins, should live unto Righteousness: by whose stripes ye were healed.
    Romans 6 : 1 – 2 What shall we say then? Shall we continue in Sin that grace may abound? God forbid. How shall we that are dead to Sin live any longer therein?
    Romans 6:11 Likewise reckon ye also yourselves to be dead indeed unto Sin but alive unto God through Jesus Christ our Lord.
    1 John 3: 1-11 ( 6-7 ) Whosoever abideth in Him Sinneth not: whosoever Sinneth hath not seen Him, neither known Him. Little Children let no man deceive you: he that doeth Righteousness is Righteous even as He is Righteous.
    Daniel 12:10 Many shall be purified, and made white and tried but the wicked shall do wickedly and none of the wicked shall understand but the wise shall understand.
    Romans 8:1-4 There is therefore now no Condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus who walk not after the flesh but after the Spirit. KJV
    We either believe the Scriptures Whitney which are all inspired by God or we reject them to our peril. We remember Paul was describing the battle we have with the flesh in Romans 7 but showed us how to overcome it in Christ Jesus in Romans 6 & 8 and other Scriptures as I shared above.
    God knows those who are His and not One of us will be lost.
    Christian Love and Blessings – Anne.

    • Yes Anne God knows his own and they can never be lost. Thank you for sharing this inspiring Bible passages, I am pretty sure a lot of people will benefit from them all. God bless you always.

    • I just did and it’s not ok for us to live in condemnation nor accept the lies of the enemy that we are condemned. There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.”Rom. 8:1. Whoever the son of man (Jesus Christ) sets free is free indeed. The truth about Jesus and his finished work on Calvary will liberate every one in bondage of the enemy. Thank you for sharing this link with me and for dropping by and commenting. It’s so thoughtful of you.

  • to your paragraph is very simple ! … “A double minded man
    is unstable in all his ways.”
    “Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you. Cleanse your hands,
    and purify your hearts, ye double minded.”
    “They profess that they know God; but in works they deny him, being abominable, and disobedient, and unto every good work reprobate.” ‭‭
    Titus‬ ‭1:15-16‬ ‭KJV‬
    To be TRULY GAL.2:20
    crucified WITH JESUS CHRIST …
    TO BE JOHN3:5 AND JOHN6:53 !!!
    As ORDERED by MARK12:30,
    PRESCRIBED by MATT.5:3-10 and
    SEALED by 2TIM2:19 !!!
    MARK12:30 4steps2HEAVEN: “REPENT”MK1:15+
    “SIN NO MORE”JN8:11+
    “BE PERFECT”MT5:48+
    “DIE DAILY”1CR15:31
    “Grace be with you ALL”
    TITUS 3:15 KJV ?
    Get a JN3:5/JN6:53 LIFE !!!
    Cuz your REV.3:16 prayers are useless !!!
    “Now we know that God heareth not sinners: but if any man be a worshipper of God, and doeth his will, him he heareth.”
    John ‭9:31‬ ‭KJV‬
    THESE OTHER 45 VERSES ALSO SAY SAME THING that every TRUE BORN AGAIN CHRISTIAN KNOWS that SINNERS PRAYS ARE USELESS !!! Deuteronomy 1:45 1 Samuel 8:18 1 Samuel 14:37 1 Samuel 28:6 1 Samuel 28:15 2 Samuel 22:42 Job 19:7 Job 27:9 Job 30:20 Job 35:12 Psalm 18:41 Psalm 22:2 Psalm 66:18 Psalm 109:7 Proverbs 1:28 Proverbs 15:29 Proverbs 21:13 Proverbs 28:9 Song of Solomon 5:6 Isaiah 1:15 Isaiah 16:12 Isaiah 57:13 Isaiah 59:2 Jeremiah 2:28 Jeremiah 7:16 Jeremiah 11:11 Jeremiah 14:12 Lamentations 3:8 Lamentations 3:44 Ezekiel 8:18 Ezekiel 14:3 Ezekiel 20:31 Hosea 5:6 Micah3:4 Habakkukl:2 Zechariah 7:13 Matthew 20:22 Matthew 25:12 Luke 13:25 Luke 16:24 John 9:31 James 1:6-7 James 4:3 James 4:6 1 Peter 3:12
    “If the righteous SCARCELY be saved, where shall the ungodly and the sinner appear?”
    Fake useless unrepentant REV.3:16 so-called CHRISTIANS have NO CHANCE for eternity !!!

    • Words can’t convey how grateful I am for these wonderful Bible passages you shared with us. Each verse is a reminder of what God wants and how he reacts to our obedience and disobedience​ as well. God is good and his mercies endures forever but we should not take his grace for granted. If we must worship Him then we must do it in Spirit and in truth. Thank you very much and God bless you.

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