Every relationship needs boundaries right? How much boundaries are we talking about? Amongst these boundaries, is Love inclusive?
The occasional tantrums is one thing, but having to walk on eggshells, live in fear,not knowing what will happen next is another. The Bible does not say “Only submit to your husband if he’s a good husband right?.” However, I dont think that God expects any of His children to endure any type of abuse, whether it be physical, verbal, emotional, or sexual or any form at all. Neither does he expect us to be unfaithful either.
Love is a wonderful emotion but if the person you love doesn’t return your feelings then having your expectations shattered really hurts, therefore making it impossible for the love you feel to endure anything.
Is love really enough today? Does it really weather all storms of life? If it does why so many break-ups in marriages and relationship? Wasn’t the love they felt for each other enough to stand the test of life? Why do we have so many abusive relationships? Why are spouses, couples, cheating on one another, if they profess to love one another? Are we supposed to endure love or blossom in love? If God is love and he endures our unfaithfulness till date,if we are made in the image and likeness of God, then why can’t we love like he does? Why can’t our love endure and believe in others?
These are questions that I haven’t been able to find answers to. Could it be we are not loving right? Could it be we just can’t differentiate between love & lust? Could it be we allow our judgements to becloud our sense of reasoning when it comes to choosing the right persons for us? Are we love blinded? Is love really blind?
We need to understand that love is selfless without any expectation. Does that mean when I love someone and he abuses me, I should still stay, and endure it out? Do I tell my children it’s ok to be in an abusive relationships simply because they love each other? So to speak!. I have a picture of what I feel true love should be: Have you seen a puppy or a pet dog, its the best example of selfless love.. Hurt him, hurl at him, avoid him and still he’ll love you for what you are.. Without expecting anything in return. 
It has no use for fancy cars or big homes or designer clothes. A waterlogged stick will do just fine. It doesn’t care if you’re rich or poor clever or dull, smart or dumb… he will love you without any expectations and that’s true love. Is that the kind of love we find in our society today?
We have always known in our hearts that there is still real love, the kind that endures the test of time. We also know that our desires and passion are much more enduring than we have ever imagined them to be. It is often said that the people who have the most frequent and most​ satisfying sex are those in long term loving relationships. Well am not surprised; in most things practice always makes perfect. Sex is like tango; when you dance with someone over a long time, you can co-ordinate your moves and create more synchrony. If these survey is correct, then why the large increase in break-ups? domestic abuses from spouses? Infidelity?
Many people in our day today have a shallow and superficial view of love that says it is a mere feeling that is outside of our control and can come and go as it pleases. The Bible in 1 Corinthians 13 disagrees. Indeed, we have seen that a true understanding of love as God has shown us is that love is a high calling, a responsibility that must be put first even when we do not feel like it. Love is not just a sentimental emotion or attachment. It does not boast or envy. Real love is selfless, and it does not to rejoice in evil, rather it rejoices in the truth no matter the situation. This kind of love also has a sure hope for the future, believing the truth of the Lord’s Word and believes what others say at face value until they prove themselves untrustworthy of that love. True love is a wonderful gift, because apart from our union with Christ, it’s rare to find such love today.
One thing that might be worth considering before committing to any union would be the question of what you would do if one of the parties involved finds love outside of this union? Do I truly this person or are my infatuated? How would that effect the relationship, how would i handle it?
Yet again, it is possible that a relationship entered into upon mutually agreeable benefits could, over time develop its own kind of affection and appreciation which could potentially lead to a mutual love someday.

Whitney Edna Ibe is the Executive Consultant, Life & Mental Health Coach, and Writer/ Editor at Whitney Edna Ibe Consult (Blog),, The Social Talks,, and Mental Wellness Society International. She is in charge of consultations, services, and implementation.

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