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  Today i witnessed one of my close friend say I do.  I have been to very few, but this wedding was different. The couples chose simple styles and decorations. It was nothing flashy. Every one was relaxed and happy for the couple. The bride was a singer and when she held the mic to sing, everyone came alive. It was like heaven on earth.
Oscar Wilde said and I quote”Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence”
If this is true, why is half of all recent marriages currently ending in divorce, and many people choosing to be single parents? Well, am guessing this is the paradox of marriage!
Analyzing the empirical findings concerning the marriage paradox requires a subtle approach. Indeed, one longitudinal study of the impact of marital transitions on life satisfaction reveals that people who get married and stay married are indeed more satisfied than on average, but they were already so, long before the marriage took place. It seems that, often, happy people are more likely to get and stay married. On average, people get only a very small boost from marriage; most people are no more satisfied after marriage than they were prior to it. (Although it should be noted that the events of widowhood, and perhaps divorce as well, appear to have long-lasting negative effects.)
Once two people fall in love, the love is there to stay. You can’t push it away even if you wanted to. The excitement and thrill of a relationship may fade but not the love. The love just gets buried by all the upset. We can’t see it because of all the anger and hurt. Love is what makes a difficult relationship so painful. If some stranger rejected you or put you down, you wouldn’t be so upset. When the rejection comes from someone you love, it hurts. People can love each other and still have a lousy relationship. Some people will fight and get on each other’s nerves forever. Some people do cruel things to each other. This doesn’t mean there’s no love.
Now this doesn’t make sense. How can you love someone and want a divorce? How can you love someone when you want to have the person shot at sunrise? We’ve been taught all these rules about love. When our actions don’t match these rules, we invalidate the love that’s there. So don’t listen to what you have been taught. Don’t look in your head for the love. Look in your heart. Look under the hurt, the anger and the frustration. You will see the love if you want to. The love is there. It is totally separate from your actions and your feelings. Allow yourself to see how much you still love the other person. Let go of your dreams for how it could have been. Allow the loss. Allow the sadness. Allow the hurt.

Whitney Edna Ibe is the Executive Consultant, Life Coach, and Writer/ Editor at Whitney Ibe Consult (Blog), Flyhiee.com, The Social Talk, and Penprofile.com. She is in charge of consultations, services, and implementation. Whitney is a full-time Inspirational Blogger and Writer making a living from this new and active medium. I'm also an author and speaker. She started Whitney Ibe blog in 2016 after she stumbled on a blog post by the blogger; shattered in him. She fell in love with blogging immediately. She explored issues of religion, relationship, culture, society, spirituality, politics, and music. She is doing what she loves to do, which is writing and inspiring people to become better versions of themselves. Her goal is to add value to your world than you ever dreamed possible by providing you with life-changing, inspiring, motivating articles, blog posts, poetry, and short stories. As a life coach, consultant, Edna is focused on an individual's personal development and happiness. She is skilled at providing structured questions to help coordinate an individual's thoughts and has excellent reasoning skills for helping clients set tangible goals. She is incredibly helpful and not prudent with her knowledge. She knows what she’s doing and loves helping others to achieve their goals as well. Many of the top bloggers on WordPress and on various websites have learned from her writing style and it has helped them to get their blogs to where they are now. Her website is full of great material to help you follow in her footsteps. She has helped so many bloggers and I can’t praise her enough.  You will learn so much from her.  She has one of those sites that you can easily get lost in reading all of her amazing posts. She loves dessert especially chocolate mixed with whipped cream and strawberries. She enjoys long walks on the beach.

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