Fear may be the first emotional problem ever to face in the family and it may even afflict more people than the second; but it is not the family’s number one enemy. That dishonour is reserved for anger, which sometimes takes the form of hostility and wrath. More wives have been battered, children abused and psychologically destroyed by the violent outbursts of anger than anyone knows. It is impossible to overexagerate the damage this emotion does to the family, marriage and all other interpersonal relationships.
Sweethearts rarely have trouble communicating before marriage. In fact, they can talk on the phone by the hour. But to destroy that relationship it only takes the angry action of one to set up a fear reaction in the other. And yes, they usually make up and renew their tenderness and communication, but the damage is done. Each has seen the other in his true light. Consequently, the spirit of free communication will be inhibited. The anger of one builds a formidable block in the wall that obstructs communication. The self-protective reaction of fear keeps the other from expressing himself freely, and thus another block is added to the wall.
Gradually such outbursts and reactions build an impenetrable wall until the former lovebirds are not really communicating at all, apprehensive that the anger of one will be ignited or the fear of the other will cause added pain. Tears, silence, and pent-up feelings all play their part, and before long they need counseling because “we can’t communicate anymore.”
I have learned that lack of communication is not just the problem. Anger and fear are the culprits! Come to think of it, anger, hostility, or wrath or even as the Bible calls it, “enmity of heart” or “malice” is as old as man. Doubtless you recall the first family squabble in the bible; Cain was very wroth (angry) and rose up against Abel his brother and slew him. Communication between them ceased. Cain could not tell his brother how he felt or what he felt, he got so consumed in anger and allowed the beast in him to take control. Ever since that tragic day, millions have died prematurely over little things that proper communication could have solved. The number of children subjected to emotional tension in the home due to the anger of adults staggers the mind.
The gravity of this problem cannot be overestimated​. Anger not only stifles communications​, it also ruins health. We need to get rid of our anger and stop being a slave to it.
https://polldaddy.com/js/rating/rating.jsGreat post. We can all so easily fall into slavery to anger (with ourselves and with the world), not to mention fear.The point you so clearly raise (thank you!)… is that we do have to work on our communication skills to combat this powerful emotion…talking/listening…and taking the time to respond, rather than making instant reactions. Look forward to more of your excellent articles ?
Sure, we need to increase our communication system both in the home and outside the home. And yes, you will see more of my post more often. Thank you so much for stopping by and sharing your thoughts with us.
Im glad you showed the link between anger and fear n also reminded us of the first example in history of angers dangerous consequences. Of course fear predates anger cos adam n eve hid from God after sinning fearing His punishment. We don’t know if adam was roaring with anger when he stupidly blamed God n eve simultaneously by saying the woman u gave me gave me the fruit and I ate. He didn’t have to stick it in his mouth though ?
Yes I can relate to that scenario of saying nothing cos even your words of kindness and reason are taken the wrong way
The one who is angry is convinced n will not be persuaded otherwise that their behavior is neither reasonable nor normal
Sometimes the best response is just to pray silently under your breath if running is not an option
God and His angels have the capacity to rescue us from every troublesome situation ?⛪???
Sure they do. They’ve been in the business of saving their very own, especially his children without complaints. Thank you very much for your honest contribution. I appreciate it.
Great words and so well written with so much inspiration, Whitney. Thanks for the lovely share.
You are most welcome and am happy that you like it.
Nice again, when communication each other is nothing all our ghosts are a role in a play (theater) where I won’t get a ticket… all worse characters of the human beings in a row… no thanks I prefer closed down the place.
Thank you very much for this wonderful gesture. I appreciate it.
Thank you very much for your kind gesture.
https://polldaddy.com/js/rating/rating.jsWow .. Im speechless .. I love this .. I can really relate, alot of us could. This is amazing correlating the two
Smiles.. thank you Yasmineis, I’m really happy you like it. I’m smiling so hard right now.
I love this. I really do. Great post.
Thank you dearie.
You’re welcome!
Great post! Nothing but truth. And I read this quote earlier today:
“It’s a lot easier to be angry at someone than it is to tell them you’re hurt.” -Tom Gates
Exactly Kelley. Thank you for this wonderful contribution. I love it.
https://polldaddy.com/js/rating/rating.jsWonderful. Really insightful ?
Thank you very much. It’s so nice of you to comment.
Thank you very much.
Thank you very much for your kind gesture.