Funny pics right? Yeah I know.
Today, something really amazing and weird like this pics happened. I caught my dad crying, he never cries and if he did it was never in front of me or my siblings. He always puts up this Macho Stance all the time and that made us believe he can’t and will never cry.
For him to do that today, then he must have been filled with so much powerful emotions that he just couldn’t bottle them up anymore.
Social standards, obligation, egoistic tendencies have really forced men into believing they cant or are not supposed to cry. Even when they want or feel like, they just can’t. They believe it would be embarrassing and unmanly thereby portraying them as being weak. Is this really true? Is that why they hide their emotions and tears?
Ok, let me ask this. ” What will happen when a man cries before everyone? Would he stop being a man? Would he suddenly become weak? Would he become less of a man?
The role of a man from time immemorial has been to provide, protect and profess (3 p’s). Men are wired differently, they have a higher threshold for grief than women. We just don’t get to see it more often. For a man to cry about something, then it must be significantly painful.
Women on the other hand cry more often than men. It is not their desire to do it openly but their hormones are quite different and they haven’t mastered completely the ability to hold back their tears. This doesn’t in any way make them weak. They are by far the strongest being on earth, some may not believe this but it is the truth( this would be the topic for another day).
Men have been told from childhood that they are not meant to cry. It doesn’t mean they can’t cry, rather they suppress their emotions and I imagine how painful it must be for them. How on earth are they able to suppress all that emotions? How can they act like nothing happened? Like they are not hurting just so they won’t be mocked by their fellow men, who suppress their own emotions by systematically ridiculing other men who cry?
Does it mean when they cry, they can no longer suppress those emotions anymore? NO. Is pride amongst the reasons why men believe they can’t cry in front of others? I believe when a man is quieter than usual, then something is wrong. Pride, ego, lack of trust may not allow him to open up. But if you are sensitive enough, you should know that is the time he needs someone around. He is definitely battling with his emotions, probably suppressing them. But if you get close enough he may open up to you and this won’t happen at the snap of your finger. He needs to trust you, the moment this happens, there would be no need for him to hide or suppress his emotions around you.
“I imagine how painful it is, walking around with suppressed emotions”.
Men have always cried and will always do. John 11:35 ” Jesus wept” If the saviour of this world could cry, then we are not exempted. No matter how men believe they are meant to be stoic at all times, they are human and every human cries. You may not see them cry in public but they do. They hurt as much as we hurt, they feel pains, rejections, sorrows just like every woman does.
“When a man cries, there is something awfully wrong somewhere…Please give him your attention. You could be saving a life.
I just wanted to say I really love your posts and I love seeing them on my feed.
Thank you Karen, i could not help but smile when i got your message. its always a pleasure to have you around.
I cry. There is nothing wrong with crying. If the situation calls for it, then cry, or laugh or let out your anger.
Nice buddy, it’s good to know you cry. Remind me not to hurt your emotions so you don’t cry…:) Smiles. Am glad you dropped by. Thank you
Nice love…God Bless you.
Thank you love. God bless you too. Am glad you dropped by and commented.
Nothing wrong with a man crying. Maybe if culture shifted and made this okay, we’d all be better for it.
I really like the quotes from John. So true.
I recently read an article that says scientist are currently working on ways to stop humans from crying. I really don’t know how possible this will be but until then I am letting it all out. I will cry and laugh whenever the arises. It’s all about Jesus, if he can cry then I can. Thank you Elizabeth for stopping by and sharing with us.
I’m actually surprised they’d want that. Tears contain a natural painkiller called leucine enkephalin. There’s research to support that this natural pain killed is why we feel better after we cry.
It bits me too Elizabeth why they would want that too. I cry when I have to and I feel relieved each time I do that. Thank you for sharing this with us.
Very thoughtful post, Whitney. I find that men have been improving in showing their emotions, but there’s still a lot of ground to cover. On the other side, I was surprised to notice some negative bias reaction towards a man’s tears not from other men but women. I’m not sure if this is a meaningful trend, as at least a percentage of that kind of societal prejudice have always affected both genders.
(Some would equate that to the strange phenomenon of independent, feminist, professional female voters supporting the election of a sexist person such as Donald Trump. I wouldn’t go that far.)
Then there’s the issue of crying itself. Like smiling or getting angry, it’s an emotional response that should be natural. Obviously, with the macho stereotype, there’s a tendency of males to repress feelings and, with time, it actually becomes virtually impossible for them to have a spontaneous reaction. A psychological lag develops between what’s actually happening and the appropriate expression of the feelings such a situation would elicit. But there’s been a marked evolution about that too.
We all need to respond emotionally to what happens to us, but it’s not always possible, or even appropriate. Our homework is to develop ways of being in touch with our feelings and have the right outlets to express them, without, of course, jeopardizing our social and professional status, or hurting others with our behavior.
We’re all biased towards bursts of emotion, so there needs to be a balance that takes into consideration the social setting in which we need to exist and navigate. Life is a continuous exercise in practicing feelings we not always are aware we have, or even like to feel. I, for one, have a lot to learn about that. Thanks for this.
Colltales, you thought are sound and your comments are highly appreciated. Am glad men are beginning to express their feelings. It’s very thoughtful of you to share with us.
An excellent post. The Ancient Greeks also believed that it was a manly thing to weep, over a friend’s death in battle, for example.
Smiles…Twist Of Life. Thank you Sir for dropping by and commenting.
Even though, as you said, a man is most likely experiencing great pain for him to drop tears, I find it refreshing. Not their pain, of course, but those moments that they allow themselves to be vulnerable. I would much rather wipe tears than deal with a man (whether we’re dating, a friend, relative of whatever) who can’t emote beyond anger or joy.
Great post 😉
Nice Kelley, every woman wants their man to open up to them. But I also know for that to happen, they must completely trust you and your sense of judgment and reasoning. Am glad you dropped by and shared with us.
I love this. Awesome.
Thank you dear.
You’re welcome.
Real men cry. If not, they die faster
This is so true. I laughed so hard to this. Thank you for sharing with us.
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Thank you very much.