This is one topic that I think a lot of people don’t address properly before “jumping the broom”. Marriage is a life time institution that one never graduates from. Sadly, this can not be said by everyone and I understand. Is getting married really worth it, if most of them Marriages ends up in divorce battles? But that doesn’t mean there are no Successful marriages out there right?
Should I get married to my girlfriend, even though I don’t love her? But everyone seems to be getting married.
In Matt. 19:4 we are told by Jesus that God created one “male and [one] female” and joined them in marriage( although it wasn’t spelt out as marriage). Mark 10:6-8:”But from the
beginning of the creation, God ‘made them male and female.’ ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, ‘and the two shall become one flesh’; so then they are no longer two, but one flesh.
“I already have a baby mama, do I still need to get married to my girlfriend? All my parents seem to care about is me providing them with grand children. They never care about how I feel”–Micheal Daniels
” I know that married life means you have someone to share all your happy moments with and someone to lean on during the difficult times. I already have that in my boyfriend, what if we decide to change our status and get married will he still be there for me?–Jasmine
These are but a few questions many ask before they tie the not, and many never finds the answer.
Why do i really need to get married?
Is it because traditions and culture expects me to? Do I just want to update my status from “Single to Married” so I can fit in? Am I getting married just so I can procreate and have my parents be proud of me? Do I get married because I have found “the one”? Do I get married so I can have a meaningful life with my hearthrob, but do I really need another to make my life meaningful?
Most married people have aged gracefully together, would that be my case if I get married?
Am not a good communicator, would I be able to communicate with my partner? I don’t like my breath in the morning…How would i cope with the breath of another? Am a control freak but my partner is open, flexible and easy going. Do I go ahead and marry him? Would we be able to compliment one another?
I have always wanted a rich man, a man with class, a man who has achieved a lot for himself but is that all I need to be happy in my marriage and in life? What happens when he’s down, would i still love him and stay married? I know money answered all things, but is that a good reason for me to get married?  Am not very patient with people, would i be able to tolerate my partner? I love my partner but is that enough for me to get married? I mean so many people who professed love to one another didn’t survive the test and trials of life…My partner is not so rich but he loves me, should I marry him? Do I believe in his dreams? Does he believe in mine? Would he support me Spiritually and physically? Would I be able to do same for him? Would I help him be the man God wants him to be? Would I be able to bring out the best in him? Would he do same for me?
Proverbs 18:22 “He who finds a wife, finds good things and optains favour from the Lord. Marriage is a blessing, despite the odds. How we view marriage today is very different from how our parents saw Marriage. They had a simple life and were always content with what life offered. Their marriage was based on tolerance, companionship, and devotion. They had morals and values, something that can’t be found amongst our youth today. Most of our youth are so overwhelmed with material things and they attribute and expect a lot from their partners.
“The modern marriage is based on sexual compatibility, love and romance. If the sex goes bad or the romance dies, than the couple can walk away from that marriage. How do you work out whether you are sexually compatible? Well, of course, you try before you buy! You make sure that you have a sufficient number of sexual partners to work out what you like and what you don’t like, so that when Mr. or Ms. Right comes along, you will know he or she is the one for you as soon as you sleep with him or her. Gone are the days when a woman’s virginity was saved until the wedding night and sex was something that happened only after marriage”.–
It’s time we set our priorities and get it right before we jump the broom or say”YES I DO!.

Whitney Edna Ibe is the Executive Consultant, Life & Mental Health Coach, and Writer/ Editor at Whitney Edna Ibe Consult (Blog),, The Social Talks,, and Mental Wellness Society International. She is in charge of consultations, services, and implementation.

75 Thoughts on “Marriage…..Why Am I Getting Married?”

  • I think we also need to ask do we want to be married? Do we want to spend the rest of our lives with one person and come to care about them as much as we do ourselves?
    Are we ready to stand with them through cancer? Through old age? Through dementia?
    This is what marriage means. For better. Or worse.
    Definitely worth thinking about before taking vows.

  • Of course sex matters, but it shouldn’t be the only/biggest reason to marry someone. Compatibility comes in all forms and shapes – I am looking for someone I can relate to on a spiritual level as well as on a “practical” basis. Whatever you look for in a partner differs per person. Marriage is big and shouldn’t be treated lightly – I think a lot of people often forget. Loved the post!

    • Thank you very much Pinkspen, your words are kind. I will continue to be better God helping me. I was nominated last year for “Blogger Recognition Award” I don’t think I should participate in the same award again. Am honoured and humbled you nominated me. It’s very thoughtful of you. Am glad you dropped by and commented.

  • I really wish I had asked myself, and my, now, ex-wife what we were getting married for. There is enough here to make a blog post. That will have to wait. I’ll be sure to consider it more carefully, if and when…

    • That’s good to know Jeff, every one deserves a second chance, and am sure you both will find yours again someday. It’s very thoughtful of you to share with us. Thank you

  • This post is a very good examination of the reasons to marry or not to marry. My husband and I lied together for almost 30 years and raised two children and finally, in our mid sixties, decided to get married. Didn’t want to rush it …..

    • That’s good to know Anne, most people are scared of changing their status when they are happy just the way they are. But oftentimes, not many people who wait ends up getting married. Am really glad you shared with us. Thank you

  • Ephesians 5: 21- 33
    21 Be in subjection to one another+ in fear of Christ. 22 Let wives be in subjection to their husbands+ as to the Lord, 23 because a husband is head of his wife+ just as the Christ is head of the congregation,+ he being a savior of this body. 24 In fact, as the congregation is in subjection to the Christ, wives should also be to their husbands in everything. 25 Husbands, continue loving your wives,+ just as the Christ also loved the congregation and gave himself up for it,+ 26 in order that he might sanctify it, cleansing it with the bath of water by means of the word,+ 27 so that he might present the congregation to himself in its splendor, without a spot or a wrinkle or any of such things,+ but holy and without blemish.+
    28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. A man who loves his wife loves himself, 29 for no man ever hated his own body,* but he feeds and cherishes it, just as the Christ does the congregation, 30 because we are members of his body.+ 31 “For this reason a man will leave his father and his mother and he will stick to* his wife, and the two will be one flesh.”+ 32 This sacred secret+ is great. Now I am speaking about Christ and the congregation.+ 33 Nevertheless, each one of you must love his wife+ as he does himself; on the other hand, the wife should have deep respect for her husband.

  • 1 PETER 3:1-7
    In the same way, you wives, be in subjection to your husbands,+ so that if any are not obedient to the word, they may be won without a word through the conduct of their wives,+ 2 because of having been eyewitnesses of your chaste conduct+ together with deep respect. 3 Do not let your adornment be external—the braiding of hair and the wearing of gold ornaments+ or fine clothing— 4 but let it be the secret person of the heart in the incorruptible adornment of the quiet and mild spirit,+ which is of great value in the eyes of God. 5 For this is how the holy women of the past who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, subjecting themselves to their husbands, 6 just as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord.+ And you have become her children, provided you continue doing good and do not give in to fear.+
    7 You husbands, in the same way, continue dwelling with them according to knowledge.* Assign them honor+ as to a weaker vessel, the feminine one, since they are also heirs with you+ of the undeserved favor of life, in order for your prayers not to be hindered.

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  • Hey! I understand this is kind of off-topic but I needed to ask.
    Does running a well-established website such as yours
    require a large amount of work? I’m brand new to running a blog but I
    do write in my journal everyday. I’d like to start a blog so I can easily
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  • Dear Whitney, thanks for following humble and modest me. I am commenting on this post among the many I like on your blog because it hits to my core. Mine has been or was a big jumble mess. Story short and simple, I am divorced and single parrent to 3 boys. I have made a covenant with the Lord. Please Lord if and only if I am deemed by you very ready, and the man you are sending my way is equally very read and then with you and our kids ( if am bringing in three I wouldn’t expect him to come single handed cause am no more having children nor adopting any), we make one big family for better or for worse. Other than that, then please Lord I have seen just so much I am ok just with You and the kids. Thank so much for this post Whitney

    • Thank you for sharing with us. I totally understand what you have been through but am also aware of the fact that you are not alone. God has not forgotten you and neither will he forsake you. He is still in the business of answering. Everything works out for good to them that love the Lord. So please don’t give up. Am glad you dropped by.

      • Thanks Whitney for the reply. Well yes if it’s God’s will and in His Time then. At least I’ve been that way once and though very bumpy, there were a few good and the best fruits are my sons. So if I don’t go that way again, I surrender that to my Lord.

    • Panic attack you say? That must have been very scary! But you got​over it right? Cos the scriptures made us to understand that he that findeth a wife, finds a good thing and obtains favour from the Lord..Smiles. Thank you for your kind response. It’s highly appreciated.

  • many years of my single life, I pondered, analyzed the reason of marriage. I often observed other dating relationships and marriages and so I myself learned from others mistakes and ventured cautiously, preferring to maintain my relationship with male race at a friendship level. However, fast forward in time, I find myself a newly wed…and I wonder if I spent enough time pondering my reason to get married. I prayed a lot, searched the scriptures, did my various tests of “Gideons fleece” to clarify whether he is the one, and if God was with us…spoke to spiritual parents and we went through months of mentorship and pre marital biblical counseling. Overall, I know it is important for us all to ponder on this question, so when the reality of marriage sets in, and the couple from 2 different backgrounds and personalities, values, etc strive to adjust to each other and so forth, one would know just what they are fighting for.

    • Yes and well said. With these questions asked, one can easily decipher the reason for any action that is carried out or will be carried out in the course of being married. Every one is worth fighting for but there is a limit anyone can take and we should be able to know the people that will fight back for us. Thank you Mrs Dew for this wonderful contribution. It’s very thoughtful of you to share with us. Thanks a lot.

  •’m getting married because I’m in love with him….is how I feel now from reading this. If someone asked me “Why Am I getting Married?” I would know for a fact that I’m doing because I’m in love with him. As a result, my answer to that question would be the same. Great discussion forum. You should really think about profiting from discussion forums too more. This is a good blog post.

    • I am so happy to hear that. Believe me my heart is filled with joy. I wish you happiness, fulfilment, fruitfulness as you take this journey. Your words are really kind too, I will like to join such forums too but I don’t know how to go about it. Can you put me through or give me any link to guide me? I really appreciate you dropping by and sharing with us. Thank you.

  • post was honest if nothing else! What you did is what you most don’t do before they enter what is supposed to be a lifelong commitment. They don’t ask these kind of tough questions about themselves. I heard Jim Evans, founder of the MarriageToday ministries say, that “you can win at marriage if you do it God’s way.” I had to repent when I heard it because I realized I had been handling my spouse and my marriage the way I wanted to. There are too many people making vows and breaking them for any and every reason. If the wind blows too hard people are divorcing over it. It’s sad, but there is hope! I’m a witness to it. If you’re looking for a status change, I can ensure you are not ready to be married. Being married to someone so unlike yourself, who is from a totally different walk in life, teaches you humility and how to consider someone other than yourself. You learn to grow up quickly! If you allow it to, your marriage, no matter who you are married to, can and will make you better. You just have to resolve never to quit! If people can commit to putting aside money to be able to buy something material, than surely we can invest in our marriages!

    • Yes I totally agree with you. You’ve tailored it very well. Experience they say is the best teacher indeed. Thank you very much for sharing with us all. It’s very kind of you.

  • is definitely one of the most twisted things in our society. It’s more about solely finding companionship and completion than it is about finding someone who will hold you to a high standard and keep you accountable for actions and thoughts. I love the phrase that “marriage is not to keep your partner happy, it’s to keep them holy”. But without the God centered perspective most people ignore those parts of marriage and enter into a conditional bond-ship rather than unconditional relationship. Thanks for this!

    • “conditional bond-ship” rather than “unconditional relationship” well said. Most people are confused, lost, misplaced their priorities when it comes to marriage and as a result may not seek God’s guidance. No wonder the scriptures says ” A wavering man is like the waves of the sea, James 1:6″. Thank you for sharing with us. It’s very thoughtful of you.

        • Ok. Well from experience i have learnt that you can never finish studying any human being much less have an absolute understanding about who they are. Just as time and situation changes, that’s how human being changes and our inability to understand that people change often results to conflict and what we call now irreconcilable differences. Do I believe it’s possible to date someone for a little while and get married? Yes I do. But sustaining the marriage requires a lot of work. Marriage is a beautiful thing and if you intent to scale through all the hurdles that comes with it, then one must be ready to make sacrifices and work for it. It doesn’t​ matter how long you’ve​ dated before you got married, what matters is how much you are willing to tolerate, accommodate, love and fight for. I also believe that no man can love another of his own strength without the love of God he or she will grow weary but the power of love God has given us is so strong that I have seen it tear down walls and flatten every mountain. I hope this answers your questions. Thank you.

    • Thank you very much for dropping by and I will appreciate the books you recommend. Working together sounds appealing to me and I’m sure it will turn out right. Please let me know when you are ready and what you want us to write about.

  • Things I Wish We Had Known Before We Got Married/ The Five Love Languages Gary Chapman. And Gary Thomas just to name a few. Yes, I will definitely get back to you on our piece as soon as possible. How’s your book coming along by the way?

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