My Sunday school teacher often say that a woman’s place is “In the kitchen and in the other room”. Well, biblically Yes. He says it with so much authority and fire in his eyes like he’s about to light up the entire Street ( Smiles).
After service, I had a chat with some ladies both singles and married. From the single sisters I deduced that they are so scared of getting married for fear of being subjected to modern day slavery as they called it.
Maybe it’s the way the Sunday school teacher communicated it to them, leaving them more worried than eager to find their missing ribs. For the married I could deduce that many of them were already subjected to it and had little or nothing to do about it. Is marriage really a modern day slavery?
Why are people scared of venturing into it? The ones that do often times do it for the wrong reasons. I don’t think it’s modern day slavery. Do you?
When studying the role of the wife in the Bible, it is very important that we understand how God designed the family unit to be. There are ranks as described by Christ, the husband, the wife, and then the children. You would not expect to walk into a lecturer’s office and be greeted by the doctor, measured and weighed by the receptionist, and then treated by the nurse. Right? There are certain orders to things because that’s what works. It’s the same way with God’s design in the family is. It works smoothly, when done His way. Every thing can go wrong with just one little mistake and it will take a long while to get it together. Often times, we just never do.
Proverbs 31 also speaks of the role of the wife in the Bible. We learn of her worth to her husband and family, how she cares for those who need her, how she provides for her family, protects them, and shares her strength with others. She fulfills her responsibilities with grace and strength. We also learn that a wife is a blessing to her husband. She is worth more than rubies! As women, we are expected to follow her example by living in the wisdom of God.
As women, is our place in the kitchen and the other room alone? Is that all we are worth or is there more? Of course Yes! There is more to us. But that doesn’t mean as women, we should contend with our men. They are our lord, heads, and should be treated as such. God expects us to submit, respect and always support and pray for them, Vice-versa.
      A Real Woman’s Desire! ( Uzo’ s Tale)
She desires a man who could help her fry the chicken and peel the potatoes or just help her with the dishes after she had worked just as many hours a day as he did. One who knows how to do the laundry and help around the house. A man who loves, respects and adores her.
A man who didn’t depend on his Mommy to turn his bed down and tuck him in every night till he was married at 40 years old cause no one else would tolerate him due to how his Mom ruined him, all in the name of pampering him.
She desires a man who knows how to take care of things by himself if she or one of the kids get sick. Or if he sees how tired she is from a long day at work and pitches in with dinner and dishes or homework for the kids. She understands the power of her words as well as her silence. She also understands that she has to take care of him physically, mentally, and spiritually.
She desires to have a husband who knows how to help out when things get hectic. She doesn’t want no Mama’s boy who can’t even wipe his own butt without help finding the toilet paper. She knew what she wanted when she got married and he has been there a thousand times over for her and their kids. He prays for her and the kids and provides both spiritual and physical needs. Thats what a REAL MAN does. 
Its called a relationship not a rely-on-me-ship. She didn’t set out to marry no little boy and he didn’t set out to marry some lazy slob. She wanted a REAL MAN and he wanted a real woman. She tells him all the time how loves and appreciates him for being a REAL MAN in their family. He also lets her know how much he loves and appreciates her. Thats how a relationship works.
A real woman can do it all by herself..A real man won’t let her.
” I desire a REAL MAN.”
What’s your desire, despite cultural beliefs and traditions?
Do you just believe as a woman your place is solely in the kitchen and in the other room?
Do you believe God created you for a purpose?
Is that Purpose solely child bearing and cooking?

Whitney Edna Ibe is the Executive Consultant, Life & Mental Health Coach, and Writer/ Editor at Whitney Edna Ibe Consult (Blog),, The Social Talks,, and Mental Wellness Society International. She is in charge of consultations, services, and implementation.

19 Thoughts on “The Place Of A Woman….Her Desires!”

  • A very good Message Whitney, to save detail below is a link that shares what my focus is.
    As I was reading your Message Whitney, I thought about those who get Married and along the way their husband or wife becomes disabled or encounters Mental problems and they have to take over their role too, I know some who have had to do this, God bless them greatly for their unconditional and sacrificial Love, I have so much respect for them.
    Thanks again – Christian Love Always – Anne.

    • I respect them too. I just feel they are wonderful people and their strength is simply divine. May God continue to strengthen them. Amen. Thank you for sharing and causing us to remember. I will surely visit the link.

  • What about women who never marry–regardless of whether it is chosen or God doesn’t see fit for it to be? Where does that leave us? What if some of us never find our mate? What if God didn’t make someone for everyone and some must wander the world alone? Are we not worthy of being seen as part of God’s plan? Maybe He made some of us to walk alone. Even Mother Teresa thought of what she was giving up to follow God. Maybe a woman’s place is where God sees fit to put her. Even if it is never to marry and have children. I would love to fall in love and marry and have children, but there is the other part of me that has a call to something greater than myself. I’m learning not all men see this as serious as I do and in fact often try to scare me into leaving my path I know I was put upon for a reason as I am having considerable success doing it. They say I’m getting old and running out of time on my biological clock. Such thing make me not want to pursue a relationship–especially if my value lies in my bare children and always “obey” my husband and put more value into his accomplishments while pushing my own aside. I want to loved and to love but these days it seems I have to live up to Christian values and Societal values–being a sexy, well built saint that can cook, clean, have children while looking like a super model. My worth lies in how long I look good and how long I am able to bare children. So many things women can do so long as it is controlled by men. Mary Shelley’s father was looked down upon for believing his daughter should be able to read and write. If not for those men, women would be stuck in a kitchen and having kids. I have a Masters Degree in History in Early Christianity (Bachelors in English). Few men notice. I’m writing a book outside what people think my race and genre should be. I don’t fit a mold and have been told as much by men and women. I believe in Godbut if we were all supposed to fit into someone’s idea of what the Bible says, we wouldn’t have a Mother Teresa, a Malala Yousafzai, a Golda Meir, a Benazir Bhutto, a Maya Angelou or an Eva Perón. Women have done much in the world with or without a man, yet we still have the stigma that our worth is what we do for our husbands and how we look doing that. I want a husband that values my contributions to the world as much as to the family. Being a wife and mother is important because that’s where we first learn where our value lies. And my mother always taught me and my sister to depend on ourselves first and value ourselves first. If we do that, single or married, we will know that we can do anything and be respected for it. I’m single and childless. I may be for life, but I don’t to be seen as half a person because I want the same support from my husband that he would want from me. I like this blog. So I’ll share it. ? Bless Up.

    • This is really inspiring. You took me to another dimension that I didn’t write about and for that, am grateful. That’s why I shared the post in the first place, cos I don’t believe a woman’s worth is only when she is pleasing her husband or cooking, rearing children ect. There’s more to us as women. We need to value, love and respect ourselves, rather than wait for a man to come do. When we find our face value, then we will be able to make meaningful impacts married or not. I don’t want to live without affecting lives positively. We need to feel loved and comfortable in our own skin as women.
      Because you are not married my dear doesn’t make you any less God’s master piece. You are fearfully and wonderfully made.
      Thank you for sharing with us. Am glad you dropped by.

    • I hope this Scripture reassures you tkwrtrilogy, God thinks that a Woman who commits her life to Him and does not Marry is also very Special.
      1 Corinthians 7: 34 There is difference also between a Wife and a Virgin. The Unmarried Woman careth for the things of the Lord that she may be Holy both in body and in spirit but she that is Married careth for the things of the World how she may please her Husband.
      Blessings – Anne.

  • I think we have drifted from the teachings of the Bible when we regard women as subservient rather than equal to men. A husband who wants a doormat gets less of a wife if he gets his way. I come from a Christian family of strong men and strong women.

    • Thank you Robert, it’s good to know we still have men who values women in this our ever changing world. Your comments are highly appreciated. Glad you dropped by.

  • I love how you define a Godly husband. In the past I would have to say that I was truly afraid of getting married, because I thought I would get lost in the mix. I had always heard pastors preaching about how the wife was to submit. I thought that meant that I had to only support the mans goals, dreams, ambitions. I thought,”Hey! what about the woman?” I thought that being married would mean, that I wouldn’t receive any support, or encouragement in return, that I would have to give up on me to fall in line for him. After awhile I just started trusting God and believing that if I was to get married that He would give me only what He intended to give me. I know that God loves me and only wants whats best.

    • Yes Raquel. First of i love your work and am happy your fears are taken away. I had same too but i came to the realisation that if Jesus is the Lord of my home and life then all i need to know he will teach me through the Holy Spirit. Since then it’s been all about Jesus in my home. It doesn’t change the fact that when life throws punches it doesn’t get to me it simply means that i don’t worry about the scars it will leave on me because i have left everything to the Lord. Thank you very much for stopping by and sharing with us. I’m very happy. God bless you

  • Excellently said! This is a very difficult subject to discuss but you did a great job. God created all of us equal, but he created the function of the man different from the function of the woman. There is no doubt we are all covered by His Grace, but we each have different roles to achieve. Thanks for your wisdom!

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