Failure is an opportunity to learn. We need to start learning from every mistake we make in life. For every time we fail, our ego gets deflated. It becomes so important to us that we spend so much nursing it rather than learn from what we did wrong or find better ways to do things right. When people mix their personal sense of self-worth with their success, they lose the ability to learn. Life itself is a school, when you stop learning, you stop evolving.

Don’t let failures define you.

Failure is a part of success if we look closely. Very often we set goals, we work hard, take risks, put ourselves out there not minding the obstacles, and when we think we are making heads way, we slip. Getting up becomes difficult and before the sun set, we begin to sing the song of losers. The psychological effect of failing is that you get relegated to the bottom while others are moving to the top. Thus the fear of being at the bottom makes you work very hard and most often stretch yourself thin.

Here’s the trick, without failing, no lesson will be learned and success will be less inspiring. I’ve learned over time that not only does vision and passion drive a man to succeed but also the fear of failing challenges him to be the best he can be at all times. Think and learn from your success and all your failures. Put into action all you learn from both. Talk is cheap, I mean anyone can afford that, but action is expensive and that’s what makes the differences.

We all talk about change and desire it, but change isn’t always comfortable. I haven’t seen a man who will be willing to give up his comfort zone without sweat and tears. If you spend your time doing things that takes little or no thoughts, holds a high chance of success upon starting, then you leave very little space for creativity and strategic thinking, from these come great success.

Even if you have all the luck on your side, born with a silver spoon, have everything you touch turns into gold, you will experience some level of failures. Create an enabling environment for yourself that will accommodate your failures, mistakes and excesses. Anything worth achieving takes more than one attempt, quit beating yourself up when you make one attempt and fail.

There’s always this weird stigma we attach to ourselves each time we fail. We are quick to label ourselves as, “loser”, “dumb,” “failure,”. Very often we allow people irregular opinions and world-views to define our self-worth. Read more on how to stop mixing your performance with your personality here: Our society, friends, teaches us indirectly to ridicule people when they fail, thereby preventing them from being risk takers.

Let’s flip the coin. Just as failures attach the wrong stigma to us, success can also blind if we don’t manage it properly. Success doesn’t necessarily make you a winner. If you won that race, secured that budget, or nailed that presentation; it’s because you had an amazing team and a strong support system. You didn’t make it on your own. You may contest this and say, “Whitney, no one believed in me, I made it on my own.” You may be right, but no one great ever achieved success on their own. They had someone even if it’s one person.

Sadly, we in our world today, we are fast to share in people’s glory and forget the people who were part of their story. If you must learn from both your success and failures, then you must learn to separate what led to your failure from your personality. Invest more in constructive thinking, then try a different approach next time. Grow up. Be honest with yourself and everyone around you. You are only destined to fail when you choose not to learn from your mistakes and failures.

You are unstoppable.

Blessing and Love ???

Photos by Nathan Dumlao, Zohre Nemati.

Whitney Edna Ibe is the Executive Consultant, Life & Mental Health Coach, and Writer/ Editor at Whitney Edna Ibe Consult (Blog),, The Social Talks,, and Mental Wellness Society International. She is in charge of consultations, services, and implementation.

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