Anger! Anger! Anger! Uhhhhh.. When a man gets angry it is considered normal but when a woman gets angry, the whole world comes to a stand still, it makes headline news and considered abnormal and the woman said to be bitter. The recent reports on violence among girls in schools especially public schools has been on the rise, yet when boys fight in the school, it’s considered as normal. How ironic? 

Women becoming violent is now more prevalent than ever; the number of women prosecuted for domestic violence in Nigeria and other part of the world has risen drastically in the past 15 years. The number of women arrested for beaten up their husbands, children and ward is quite alarming. 

Every human has the limit to what they can take and contain and women are not exempted. Women getting angry is not abnormal but what they often do when they get angry is becoming terrible and unacceptable. The amounts of pressure and responsibility piled on them today is enough to get any sane person angry. Women are constantly under a lot of pressure;  pressure to get married, pressure to work, take care of the family, fulfil marital obligations even when they are not up to it, and still look ( for those allowed to look good). These pressures are the cause of pent-up anger and frustration in women today. Lots of women have learned to hold in or better yet conceal their anger, they are taught by situations to be good pretenders. They pretend to be happy, fake a smile when in rage, become compulsory introverts for fear of ruining things with other people who may not understand what they are going through when they mingle with them, fake a smile for the children and pretend to be happy, which in the long run only make things worse. Eventually if they do let out this piled up anger and frustration, it is considered abnormal. What is so abnormal about that?

Women are wonderful but very sensitive being. They pick up signals both positive and negative at any point in time, and our men are partly to blame for them getting angry. Many women get angry over little things, such as someone cutting in on them on the road accidentally, someone trying​ to over take them on the highway, someone cracks a joke that ends up annoying them, etc.  Although it may appear that this is what has triggered an angry outburst, but then its not. The truth is, they’re actually upset about something that has happened previously that they haven’t been able to express and may never get to express.
Over the years, women have been sold packs of lies by everyone around them. Including the secular world, the extremist, the society, the liberal minded people, the mass media, entertainment and education establishments that they are weaker vessels. They’ve been told that the male and female bodies are the same, men are just stupid, insensitive, vile and inconsiderate creatures who only care about sex and themselves. The effects of these lies on women has led them into poor quality relationships, unhealthy eating and lifestyles, dating forever instead of marriage, victims of rapes, anxieties, unhappiness, depression and lest i forget plenty of anger. Thankfully, all that is beginning to change. We’ve seen women in power, heading organisations, some are even bread winners in their homes for one reason or the other. 

All women are built differently and uniquely but honestly deep down inside, all we need is a little bit of love and a whole lot of attention and Surely, that’s not too much to ask for, is it?

Whitney Edna Ibe is the Executive Consultant, Life & Mental Health Coach, and Writer/ Editor at Whitney Edna Ibe Consult (Blog),, The Social Talks,, and Mental Wellness Society International. She is in charge of consultations, services, and implementation.

7 Thoughts on “Women And Anger…..”

  • Nice entry again and what I can be saying about women… you’re marvelous creatures and a double effort in the occidental societies, women be wise, anger could be a rainbow in a storm day and you’re the recipient in the birth human being, a thing is sure more strongest that we as men.
    Hats off to women and natural woman pls.
    A big hail from Spain

  • I must say that I can’t argue with you on this one. You have a healthy, fair, and antifeminist view towards this issue. No, I haven’t forgotten about your book. I need to get it from a library before I start reading it.

  • It’s sad that there’s a double standard in society that treats a woman’s anger as abnormal. Although a woman is naturally physically weaker without the assistance of male growth hormones she can often possess a greater measure of self control inner strength or meekness than the male species. Women are traditionally perceived as soft gentle nurturers. They are the pillars that hold the family together. They are the voice of comfort traditionally after father’s discipline. As more kids become raised by single mothers and female only couples it becomes harder for a woman to fit comfortably into her traditional role. Often an increase in alcohol and drug abuse among women can be a catalyst for aggressive behavior. I agree wholeheartedly that most women are selfless and put others above themselves. They would rather starve to death than see their children go hungry. Most women care more about the Intimacy of sharing thoughts and spending time together than they do for procreation but a move in the opposite direction is trending. Its true we must look at the roots of a woman’s anger and not the fruits. Nobody gets angry for no reason. There may be a multitude of irritations building up before something triggers her n causes her to boil over. Thanks for your wise insight into a womans experience of handling troublesome emotions. You didn’t mention the obvious p m s related rage but instead provoked us to show greater sensitivity towards a woman’s feelings

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